6. Writing

Is it art to get really emotional? Danielle will cry over a movie and then magically be able to discuss the beauty of the theme conflicting with the character conflicting with the music or the way a kid’s cartoon combats deep personal problems that people face in life. Self constantly questions Art. The two can be compared to Wiesler and Dreyman from The Lives of Others. Wiesler is Self, Dreyman is Art. Wiesler is probing and investigating Dreyman, limiting him. But eventually Wiesler, in a way, lets Dreyman write his play, and a beautiful work is produced, and Wiesler afterward defends the art made by moving the typewriter so the other Stasi cannot find it. Self then turns into Wiesler’s supervisor, Grubitz. Grubitz knows for a fact Dreyman has transgressed the law and questions him, trying to break him.  

Danielle understands the idea that a lot of art is “intention, accident, acceptance” and does agree with that theory and find that it does happen with her work. But the part of her called Self never really gets over that accident phase, or sometimes only partially accepts itself. The other part of her, Art, doesn’t know what form to take and she often finds it bursting out of her in unexpected ways—a tweet, a drawing on a friend’s leg, the spur of the moment decision to use her acrylic paints on a vase because it’s too plain. Art feels like a wild horse, trapped in a stall, not even in her head—it’s a part of her hiding somewhere in there. In that way, art is like Wiesler, quietly observing, obsorbing, recording. However, Danielle is confused as to when she’s making art and when she’s just doing things. When is Art presenting itself? Is Art in control when Danielle’s drawing on a friend’s leg?

            A lot of the process is Art in a fight with Self to keep going. Art wants to mean something, but it hasn’t decided what it wants to mean yet. Art wants to drag Self into it but Self fights back. Art soothes Self when Self is thinking too much, distracting it from what Self would otherwise be scared of thinking. Self stops Danielle from interacting with Art because Self is scared of insulting Art. Once Art takes control of Danielle, Self shuts up. Danielle likes when Self shuts up because it lets her make whatever Art wants and not hate it. Self forgets to hate what Art makes when Art takes over. Even when Art surrenders to Self it’s at the back of Danielle’s mind yelling at Self to like what it just did, that it’s as good as anyone else’s and it’s better than what it would’ve been if Art didn’t take the front seat.

The Rocket Ship

I don't know why the other post wouldn't let me include this but here's the rocket ship from this morning. (I know it's crummy but I feel good about it, so keep ya judgements to yaself.)

Process Again? I'm Feeling Inspired.

Today while waiting for class to start I decided to doodle in my notebook. We were watching a NASA movie about the Colombia disaster and I started to draw a rocket ship. Part of it was copied off of the display on the smart board but when that changed, I kept going. Obviously I don't know the exact parts of a rocket ship to draw, so it ended up looking nothing like the actual rocket ship. I'm proud of it, however, because I didn't let my usual anxieties about making it perfect affect my drawing. It's only pen on paper but it marks a starting point in what I believe is my growing out of my insecure phase. I'm viewing this as a stepping stone to having confidence in my work again. 

Later on in STAC art I applied the same mindset to a watercolor piece I started and did not plan to finish. With helpful hints from Julian I figured out a way to retrive and repair the piece so that I liked it and I was able to get it through with. Every time I felt myself getting discouraged I would either get up for a second or make a drastic change to the piece, like Luke's technique. It lead to me coloring the butterfly with sharpies I found and actually ended up improving the piece. It still needs color in places but will be done by tomorrow. I'm feeling better about myself as an artist and feeling more inspired, FINALLY.  (These two photos are the before and after of the watercolor piece!)

The Two Questions.

I often find myself asking myself the same two questions that Lynda is asking herself. Actually I find that these two questions serve as a huge road block for my success as an artist. The two questions are the verbal representation of insecurity about one's art. For some reason I always find myself being so insecure about my work and ability that I end up barely finishing something or not even doing it entirely. I think I really do need to just let it go and make things. With my Q4 peoject I'm already finding difficulty with continuing it because I'm already asking myself if its good or not. 

"The Mask" Improvisation and Drawing.

Watching the videos of actors improvising while using the Mask technique made me half understand and half be very confused by the technique. While watching I was able to see how they let the mask take over them, and for the time wearing the mask they are completely that character associated with the mask instead of themselves (changing their posture, walk, pitch of voice, etc). I realize this is a usable technique and I can see how it would work for actors, but when we put them into action ourselves (using the puppets) I found it hard to get into exactly what the actors wearing masks were into. It wasn't until I took advice to just let the puppet become alive, give it a personality and whatnot, that I realized it start to work. The fear of me touching someones's hair, for instance, went away because it was a puppet doing it and not me.

When it came to the drawing with a group, I found it very difficult. Ever since reading the bit about the "Two Questions," I've tried to set my anxiety toward making art to rest by asking myself why am I caring so much about what I'm making? This has been slightly successful for me, I'm starting to find myself being more eager to doodle and not make a big deal of it, but when it comes to either big projects or group projects I still feel that same anxiety. It's almost like a huge pressure on my shoulders telling me that I'd better be as good as the other artists, or I'll ruin the piece; or my work will be so bad that others will draw over it as to make it look better. Toward the end of the drawing exercise I got into it slightly, drawing a bow and arrow shooting the picture that Danielle was drawing, and making the bow follow the curve of the tentacle previously drawn, which was a little comforting. I think what I need to do the most in order to get over this anxiety is to just make art. Much like the quote from the reading I chose as similar to my thoughts, art doesn't have to be just on paper or through a lens. Creative thinking can present itself in many different ways, and I think I've been blocking that thinking and I should let it go, because who knows what it will lead to? I need to learn that it is okay to fail and is necessary in order to get good at something.  

Working in groups today for be kind rewinds was successful and enjoyable. I was nervous at first because I'm not used to working with people other than my usual partners and I'm not used to being in charge. However I think I enjoy having a leading role in group work. I'm really excited about the plot we came up with and happy about the way we went about coming up with it. Lukes method of everyone contributing ideas and then voting on the ideas is helpful because it allows everyone to get a say in the process and opens the door for great ideas. The step by step process keeps the idea from morphing into detail too quickly and what results from it is an organized plot, title, and genre. I'm excited to start filming!

Photo shoots are good expierience (repost)

    A unique, educational, and enjoyable experience is something that I think the STAC program strives to achieve. Learning something useful in your future field while enjoying yourself is the best way to learn. That being said, the recent photo shoot I participated in was a successful one because I learned a lot about shooting and had fun doing it. For starters, I've never done a full light set up, background, and such. For this shoot, we were brought to the space and given no instruction. My partners and I were left to figure out how to set up the backdrop, flash, lights, and compose the scene all on our own. Good skills to know, and definitely necessary for someone who wants a BFA in photography.
    The ability to compose an image is what separates a photographer from a person who owns a DSLR camera. It is probably one of the most important things to master if you want a career as a photographer of any kind. The fact that we were given absolute freedom to make the shoot look good was probably the most valuable part of the experience because we learned how to compose a scene. I was lucky to be able to work with a kind of lens that I've never worked with before, because it helped me to learn to adapt to whatever materials are presented to me. It was challenging at first because the thing probably weighed more than I do, but it produced some great shots. Being the head photographer on the shoot felt good, because I was calling the shots, something I normally don’t do.
    Being in STAC gives me an advantage because I’m beginning my studio experience earlier than most high school students would be. A goal of the STAC program is to expose students to any discipline they're interested in and apply the skills they learn to "real world" jobs and experiences. Basically, we're not just learning how to take pictures, we're learning how to make money by taking pictures.